Monday, September 1, 2008

Greif Just a Part of Life? Life after Death?




This week has been trying to say the least for me. I lost my best friend after 16 years of being inseparable. His name was Ralphee and I miss his physical presence desperately! He was always there, regardless if I was sleeping, eating, or just playing at the computer. He was always with me, with no expectations and all he wanted to do was be near me. I did not realize until he was gone that this poodle of mine was an extension of my being. He was not only my pet but also my companion and life without him seems empty. I am lonely even in the presence of other people.

The irony of this story is that I know that he still “is”. He as well as all of us cannot cease to exist. The only thing that ceases to exist is his physical body. Intellectually I understand this. Unfortunately, this knowledge has not made the process of grieving any easier. The pain is no less severe. The difference that I have found in the process of grieving since my awakening is that I am feeling the feelings. I am observing as I grieve without judgment. In short I am accepting what is at this moment without deciding if it is good or bad. Ralphee is gone and it hurts – this is what is at this moment.

I have shifted my thoughts throughout the process of how much I loved him and how happy he was to see me whenever I entered the house. I know that as time goes by I am creating the feelings of happiness and contentment as I think of Ralphee. These thoughts of happiness will then become a habit when I think of Ralphee. Thus, the grief will pass and will be replaced by the loving thoughts of my friend.

In any situation that at first seems like it may be negative, one only needs to look at it for a moment without any judgments. Life is merely a stream of moments – these moments pass and in those moments there are many experiences for us to grow and learn from. If these experiences are labeled by us to be good or bad we could be missing the whole point. I found from really experiencing my grief through this process that this too shall pass. I am strong enough to handle everything that is given to me. Everything that happened on the day my friend died was just as it should be. As I lower my resistance and just be in the moment, the moments are incredible and have the potential to touch my soul if I only allow it. Every moment is a gift and one should learn to be present and observe!

I love you all! Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts please share yours with me so that we all can continue to increase our awareness!

Tina Mae


10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good Luck as you wind your way through the grieving process, I am sorry to read of your loss, and wish you the very best!

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Tina Brown said...

Thank you for your kind words Christine! It means a great deal to me that you reached out! You have brightened my day and I am grateful.

Barbara said...

I am sorry to hear about your loss. God bless you in every way and hope you start feeling better.
Barbara

Tina Brown said...

Barbara,

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and leave a comment! I feel better already! Your extension of kind words has touched me and lifted me up.
Thank you again.

Unknown said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Ralphee. I have two shih tzus and my Sam looks just like your Ralphee. I would be feeling the way you are. Give yourself time to grieve and miss him. He is having the time of his life with the little puppies, big dogs and kids who needed Ralphee to love. Hugs and prayers to you.

Marrid66 said...

I am soo sorry for your loss. I know what it is like. I lost my beloved cat after 10 years. It was hard. Just take one day at a time.

Lolly said...

I am so sorry-I completely understand. My Taz passed away 3 years ago on my husbands birthday. I felt him crawl over onto my feet that morning in bed and then he was gone. But I know he is in a better place. It's just that after 14 years of him always being there it is hard to not have him by my side. I did not have any children at the time and he was my child as was Shelbie who later passed away after 13 years. My little angels are in Heaven now but I still miss them.
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Lisa said...

I'm really sorry for your loss. I know it is very hard and I pray that you can find some peace and comfort. Blessings...

Carrie said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I know I will be devasted when my chihuahua passes on (she is 13, but still spunky!)
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